Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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