You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize