everyone is single if you try hard enough
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize