Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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