Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I'm really busy with my period
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