just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
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He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
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The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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