I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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