I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
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Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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