I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Sex in the backyard? Check.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize