Pappa wants mamma naked
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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