I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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