I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize