Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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