I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize