New invention idea: vibrating tampons
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize