I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize