I need help removing her.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Are we still banned from the library?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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