Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I can't put those talents on a resume
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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