When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
this will be a night to untag.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize