Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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