sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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