He uses pillows to masturbate.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
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Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
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Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
God, I missed his penis.
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