Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize