So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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