Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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