Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize