I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize