so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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