Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
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