She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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