We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
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My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
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American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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