I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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