its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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