But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
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