I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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