What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
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