When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize