I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize