Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize