I showed him my bush... on skype.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm always down for nudity.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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