You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize