I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
cat food counts as protein by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize