he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize