I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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