walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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