can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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