but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
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I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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