And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
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You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
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I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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