Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize