I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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